Suflower Seeds, vitamine c, Genya Bought me coffee at the exact right time, getting all of my studying done, organizing a massive soci 100 study session for tomorrow at 2:00 pm, spending all of my life on the internet, talking with Liz, watching movies with Clare, Genya, Atisa, and Diana, reading savage love out of the georgia strait publication, no diet coke/aspartame all day long, my skin looks a little bit better, downloading old boards of canada songs, carrots, tofu, pumpkin muffins, falling asleep while my computer reads me my sociology notes, falling asleep in general, being completely unmotivated to pack, reading everyone elses livejournals, goodbye Genya: have a safe, pleasant trip home.
----------------------------------------
Packing, Eating, Teaching, Vacuuming, Dear parents I am taking all of my dirty laundry with me on the flight because I am just too damn lazy/time-starved to do it myself, finishing my book-readings, doing the dishes, taking out the trash and recycling, doing my online preboarding, getting around 8 hours of sleep.
-------------------------
Waking Up, Eating Breakfast, Showering, Going to the examination, writing the examination, going back to my room, getting my stuff, taking the bus to a train station, taking the train to the airport, taking a plane to my city, arriving around 7:00 pm, then nostradamus goes blank
----------------

I'm nervous and excited.

GOALS IN LIFE
-Study legitimately for this Sociology Exam on Saturday
-Try and get Kathleena her X-mas gift before the holidays are over
-Pack
-Exercise
-Learn how to use torrents

You who are all already own the downloading train, can you help me out. I have decided that my christmas gift to myself this year will be loads and loads of totally nonlegitimate, downloaded music which I would otherwise have bought in years past.

The reason why? I think I've contributed more than my fair share to the music industry throughout the years. I want free shit now. It's available. Why would you pay for coke when you can get it for free from a tap?

-Get off my diet coke addiction
-My throat is feeling a lot better. I think that being sick was just a short 24-hour thing (this isn't really a goal)
-Holy crap, I just spent an hour doing NOTHING!
-I want to go to the co-op parking lot at night and record the buzzing of the parking lot lights onto my laptop
-I actually have no desire to do anything except sleep. I might go get a coffee to remedy this, because I need to get some real work done today.
-Everything feels very unreal these days. I don't know how else to describe it.

The psych exam went well =D

I have used up the last of my itunes money. On this. Mmmmmmmmmm =^)

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You can view more awesome user content after the jump!

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Curtains

Thanks, again, for joining us. Until next time, stay snug!

Psych Exam at 8:30 this morning.

Here's the problem: I think I'm sick.
I had major issues sleeping all night (not good for the day of an early morning exam), and right now, my throat feels like an angry, swollen phlegm factory. I checked my forehead, and I don't think I have a fever or anything, but my joint feel find of cold and strange like they always do before I get seriously sick.

I would take some of the random cold pills dad and mom got me, but I don't want to end up getting extra-dopey for the exam.

Best case scenario: I write the exam, do fantastically (because I know this shit inside and out), go to the university market, buy a case of lozenges, go back to my room, take some kind of random placebo, take a nap for a few hours, and wake up totally cured!

Worse case scenario: This persists past Saturday and cuts into my precious, hard-earned, break-time.

At least it's not the swine flu, right?

Dad, the package you sent arrived today! It was really great. I don't know if I'm allowed to light the hanukkah candles because of fire regulations and everything, but I will definitely set them all up and everything! =D. I'm excited to watch robot chicken and angela anaconda once I have a life again (when will that be?).

I am wondering what I want to do with my life- "lottery or car crash or I join a cult?" Seriously, should I actually see this psychologist thing through to the bitter end, or should I go to law school or do something else, or should I just screw it all and go do something artsy and live off of grocery stamps for the rest of my life? I have no idea. I think for now, I'm just going to keep on going with the flow until the scholarship money runs out. I don't want to waste my life, whatever that means.

Really, I'd just rather clone myself and do everything.

People I still need to get stuff for to celebrate jesus's birthday/the macabees killing people with hammers:
-Mom
-Dad
-Aunty Penny
-Carli

Don't get me stuff for christmas. Instead, make me mixtapes! I like those better!

Stuff I like but am too busy to enjoy (or at least enjoy without feeling guilty for not studying)
-Pitchfork Media (I am a twerp. It's okay. At least it's not stereogum.)
-Magazines in general (I like the swedish ones with the fancy-ass design stuff, I love adbusters, I love the mens fashion magazines [which are like body dismorphic picture books for gay men], I love music magazines, I love zines, I love it all!)
-Sleeping during the day
-Brent Knopf
-Food blogs
-Biking

And that's basically what my routine has condensed down to. It's all very unreal. I just sit at my pillar for a while, do work, exercise occasionally, take breaks to surf the web, eat, and then sleep.

GJ: I always love you. I feel like if you were here, I would probably be more extroverted and less socially retarded, but it's good that I'm here because I need to grow some balls. I WANNA MAKE V-BLOGS WICHOO!

BS: We don't see each other very often, but that's probably for the benefit of everyone around us ;-)

GM: I wish I'd stayed in touch with you better during high school.

SS: I'm sorry I'm so boring. I love you, and I love that you're doing so much better. It just feels like I have nothing to talk to you about these days.

KL: As always, you inspire me. Too bad I don't have confidence.

AS: I'm excited to catch up with you. I know we've only talked a few times since September, but it sounds like this year has been a lot more fun for you, which is great! =D

DB: I love you and I really really hope exams aren't burning you out. Enjoy your swimming today if you read this- it's almost done!

GC: Thank God for you. End of story. You know what I'm talking 'bout.

BT: Sometimes, I wonder what you'll be like 10 years from now. Thank you for thinking about weird stuff. I seriously think you would dig university- kids here are into weird stuff too. Actually, that's a lie. I thought kids here would be super 'in' to the stuff we're learning, but most of them don't actually give a crap- they just want to pass. Whatever. I want to pass too.

KP: I love that you love food too! I love that you are passionate about everything. Your boyfriend's beard is getting enormous.

PL: Thank you for taking care of me these last three months/lending out your kitchen. I'll make it up to you somehow.

CS: I feel guilty because you always end up paying for stuff for me: maybe it's just traces of my male chauvinism. Happy Hanukkah!

I had a dream that I was at the Oakridge co-op. Sarah was there too, and we were going to get jobs, because co-op was the only place in the known universe that was hiring. All of your old, spurned lovers where there too. Sarah thought I should flirt with them, but I told her that I was a solitary animal, and that flirting was too difficult. Eventually, a bunch of us decided to have a party at my house (which is close enough to the co-op). It was a christmas party, so I picked a tree. It was too heavy, and I was worried that we were never going to get it back to the house, when Marshall Watson showed up with a big van-truck out of the blue. Everybody seemed to know him. "He saved my life!" I exclaimed to someone. He stuck the tree so that the bottom of it stuck out of the window. When we all eventually got to my house, everyone wanted to use the washroom. I lied and said it was in the park a few blocks over, because I didn't want anyone to use our washrooms in the house for some reason. My dad came outside, and we walked around the neighborhood trying to find a place to plant this christmas tree. Eventually, we settled on planting it in the food court. The CEO rose out of the floor, smiling and glowing a little bit. It was as if he has planned the entire thing- what good press his food court was getting now that we had planted our christmas tree there.

I also had another dream that I was in a gigantic french university, which took place in a castle, and no one went to different classrooms. We all just sat of different parts of a big gigantic staircase in large, informal clumps to receive our academic instruction.

In other news, I am feeling really ugly these days (but what else is new). My post beard-acne-face is not leaving, my cafeteria belly is not leaving, and my hair is too long. More than that, I just kind of get this sense that I hit the physical peak of my entire life this summer, and then everything for this point onward is just a part of my inevitable downward spiral into physical-old-age and post adolescent fugliness. Ugh. Fuck. Piss Shit.

The Cafeteria is okay! I am still pretty cheap when it comes to my food- I do the $1.30 tofu bowl with added free veggies every day without fail for lunch. I think this tastes good, and I also think that it's probably the best bang for my buck money-wise. =D Cheap and delicious and relatively healthy is hard to argue with, but sometimes I wonder if it's bad for me to eat the same thing day after day after day after day. Tofu is pretty much my favorite thing of life these days, but it's like the story about the boy who only ate macaroni until he turned into a macaroni: variety is good, while monotony will turn you into an inanimate object.

I usually eat up on the bar by myself while reader internet articles or my textbook. It's sad. Sometimes, I can eat with Genya or Devon + Company though, and that's really nice!

Speaking of routines, now that I have more than fifteen minutes to get myself dressed and breakfasted, I have time to do some quality reading while I'm stuffing my face with Kashi. My recent book of choice:

This morning, I woke up inspired. I want to do something creative! I want to make a zine! I want to make music! I want to do something amazing. One of things I really miss about Calgary was that feeling that I could do anything I wanted to do there, and it would be okay. Here in Vancouver, I just don't have the confidence to do much of anything except a) my schoolwork and b) eat/sleep/hygiene. There's lots of things I'm interested in getting involved in and learning how to do- I have so many ideas that it actually overwhelms me. I felt like this at the beginning of the year, and as a result, I ended up doing almost nothing. Here I am still doing almost nothing. Maybe in the summer, things will work out better.

I am really looking forward to going back to Calgary. I know it's Christmas and I'm supposed to just chill out with my family, but I'm really looking forward to seeing some friends too (=D =D)! I want to go to all of the places I love in Calgary- 17th, Kensington, Chinatown, hell even places around Braeside and Southland. Gah- I've even been reading FFWD and the Herald on the internet during my study breaks/mealtimes today. It's sort of pathetic how I love Calgary, but at this point, I figure there's no point in fighting it, right?

Me and Genya have started doing crosswords together in our free time (I consider crosswords in the morning a happy artifact of last summer, as well as something inextricably related to my dad). She found a really good site where we can download easy NY times crosswords. I'm faster at the crosswords, but she kicks my arse at the sudoku, so I'd say we're about even, non?

Also, I am addicted to diet coke, which I have decided is the token drink of nihilism. If you think about it, it's the perfect case of discounting the future for the present. It's got a whole bunch of terrible chemicals in it which are probably going to give me blood and brain cancer in 50. At the same time, these chemicals make it simultaneously taste wonderful, and make it void of any nutritive value. The caffeine is just an added, mood-medicating bonus in there. I think it's the closest I've come to Huxley-esque soma yet! =^)

The bad thing is that I'm getting other people hooked too...

A while back, we hosted a youtube night (I think maybe 10 people showed up) through house council. I thought it was brilliant, ( so now, I present as many of them as I can possibly remember: )

Cold, Sad, Sleepy.
That is today's verdict-- with a large side of confusion.
Didn't smoke yesterday, which is super,
And Im doing good with the food.
Im just feeling isolated which blows.

And somehow being at Anderson last night made me remember that night a few summers ago that I got shot at by those guys with the BBGun, and the police drove me and jacob homr and we made pact not to tell mom and dad so they wouldn't ban s from going on walks together... I had forgotten about that, so I've been in limbo today.


Dear Sarah,

This is going to be a very long post, so I'm sorry ahead of time. To be fair, I've been doing a lot of google image search blogging instead of actually typing out what my life's been life.

So here are my hopes and dreams...

It was snowing outside this morning! This is the first time I've seen snow in a really long time- at least 5 months. Life feels strange without snow- not bad or devoid of anything essential- it's just weird to think that snow is such a rare thing here. That's probably why I appreciated it today. I like snow when it's new. I don't like snow when it's dirty and old and caked onto cars. Somehow, I don't picture that happening in Vancouver. Au contraire! I think for the first time in the history of my life, I could get to see a real, legitimate springtime with flowers and birdies and all that jazz.

We like winter and Christmas.

But we don't like exams and studying.


There was a party up in our lounge yesterday evening after the Econ final. I wasn't planning on going, but Kathleena wasn't picking up her phone (we were gonna do a 30 rock marathon or something like that), so I decided to kick around. Liz and Katherine decorated the floor lounge all Christmassy! They had streamers and snowmen and wreaths. They even posted economics jokes on the door for all of us poor bastards who had to endure the microeconomics midterm. It was fun- we ate pizza and drank rum and egg nog and talked for about 6 hours. Kim showed us her "thizzle" dance (you have to make a face like you smell piss, and it's gross, and then you get angry about it, and then you just dance all ghetto-like). Apparently, it's a major thing in the states. I love the Americas! Alex talked about Denmark, which is apparently awesome! There is no booze-tax or enforced drinking age over there, and nakedness in public places is a much more common thing. No wonder they chose to hold the whole world climate change circus/catastrophe/conference over there. We all talked about our love lives, past and present, which is always interesting with people you see often enough but don't know super well. We were going to watch a movie, but we just never got around to it, so instead, we watched funny stuff on youtube. I think this lasted until about 2:30 in the morning, and then everyone just kind of crashed.

I really like my floor- I wish I did more stuff like this earlier in the year, to be honest.

The Econ final wasn't that bad. I felt pretty good about the whole thing. As predicted, studying honestly had nothing to do with it- it was just about knowing your ass from a hole in the ground, and then applying economic theory. Some people were pretty unhappy with it, but that's how it always goes with Gateman exams. I had some moments of sheer impromtu genius, like when I suddenly decided that I could graphically show the difference between a competitive and noncompetitive firm using relative elasticity. We'll see how I actually do- there's a good chance I could be overconfident.

I forgot to blog this, because I'm just dumb and absent minded, but last Friday, I went to see Genya's choir concert. I ended up falling asleep/going into a meditative trance for some of it, but from what I remember, it was pretty awesome. You'd think that I'd be more attentive while listening to classical music after being exposed to it for so long, but I snooze off just as easily as the next guy. So much for cultural capital =(. After the concert, me and Genya and Kathleena all went down to The Naam for some late night studying/awesomeness. Originally, we were going to buckle down and study are asses off for psychology, but we ended up just talking about our families, upbringings and childhoods. I think families are a good topic- everyone has them, and usually, there's at least something about your family which is interesting or funny. I got one of those miso dragon bowls with rise and tofu and goodies. Genya got a teriyaki noodle dish, and Kathleena got one of their Naam pizzas. We were going to split a salad, but I, being the glutton that I am, ended up eating most of it. I love it because the portions are huge! Overall, I'd say it's much better to go to the Naam in the late night hours: it's much less busy, the ambiance is better, the service is better, and the food is faster. I took pictures on the bus ride home, but they were all blurry because I overexpose (and I overexpose because it makes pictures look brighter, and I am too lazy to wait for the flash to work)

The night after our Naam adventure, I ended up shipping out to Kathleena's residence for cookie decorating night (notice how all of my 'fun' excursions involve food?). That was fun too- it's interesting to watch Kathleena with people her own age, because she develops this sharp, funny, dark sense of humor that you don't really get to see anywhere else. After the food was all packed up, me, her, Toby (who was in my creative writing class), and a girl in the Opera program whose name I forget bantered for about an hour or so.

Another big adventure? Last Monday (a week ago), me and Genya brought our study supplies downtown and had coffee/tea at a starbucks in Robson, stole free internet, and studied for a while. After our internet ran out, we walked down to the big HMV off Robson and Burrard. Holy crap! This place is enormous! There is a floor entire for chart hits, books, and shirts. The top floor is all music, while the basement is movies and video games. I love HMV- even if I'm not buying anything, it's a nice reminder of how much awesome music there is out there that I enjoy listening to. I think it's interesting how they're slowly diversifying out of compact discs (they had the Ghost World graphic novel for $12, which is awesome!). They obviously understand that it's a dying market.

I used to pissed about the death of the cd, but now I think I can come to terms with it. I think the era of internet music is probably going to be nicer, and much more interesting in the long run.

Anyhow, I felt old going to HMV. I spent a lot of the past four or five years coveting different cds and obsessing over certain musical artists, so HMV was sort of like this commercial treasure trove for me. It's weird to think about that in retrospect.

Other than that, I spent most of this last week studying. I had a pretty good system worked out: I sit by the pillar with my (now defunct) Econ tutoring sign and plow through my Econ notes, basically summarizing and rewriting them for each chapter. Genya is often there as well. When it is time to eat, we eat dinner/lunch. When I feel antsy, I go work out in the fishbowl for a little bit (it doesn't take long for me to get very very tired while exercising, as you can imagine). Almost nobody came for tutoring- I helped one girl out for about 10 minutes, and then Nathan and Chris came just to review some stuff, but overall, as a free tutor, I felt very under-utilized. I guess I'll have to advertise better next time.

I'm breaking this up into a few entries, or else it'll be too long.

My social anxiety tells me Arash didn't show because he doesn't like me,
but oh well.
I had a really lovely evening-- I've really missed Brent, and Sam.
Oh Sam, shes so fun to be around-- she really has such a calm and inviting auora. And Brent, I have really really missed hanging out with you-- I really feel like myself ya know? Eating has always been so anxiety provoking for me. I don't think I've ever been able to eat a meal in public that wasn't Subway-- goes to show my eating issues are pree much solved. PHO IS SOOOO YUMMMY!!!! And than we just spent the time talking, about everything. I'm in the best mood right now. Hooray for Euphroria!!!

Econ 101 tomorrow. Wish me luck

( Leaving my homework on the internet )

Hi Jacob,
Hope you are enjoying a more relaxed schedule and that your studying is going smoothly.
I mailed off a package with a couple of little things for you and it should arrive before 5pm today (Friday).
Hannukah starts tonight. We'll be thinking of you and I promise to make some latkes when you are here.

Love,

Dad

-----------------------------------------

Hey Dad,
Thanks for the email! Things are going decently- I am definitely enjoying a more relaxed schedule- maybe too relaxed sometimes (I've finally broken a 3-day habit of sleeping in past 10:30 today, which is a pretty major accomplishment). The studying is going well- honestly, I've never been in a position where I have a) felt such enormous pressure to study my arse off to learn the material and b) had so much time to stress out over exams. Truth be told, things feel a little bit strange right now. I've got my first exam (Microeconomics) tomorrow in the mid-afternoon, so wish me lots of luck. I'll be looking forward to the package- if you sent it to be received today, it's more likely that I'll get it sometime over the weekend: there's just a huge delay on packages. I don't know why. I hope you and everyone else (especially Marqui, who loves playing with wrapping paper) all have a happy Hannukah. I'll see you in about a week!

Love,

Jacob

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Curtains

Thanks, again, for joining us. Stay warm and safe out there!

After about 13.5 hours of sleep (I slept about an hour and a half extra after waking up for breakfast), me and Genya transited down to Richmond to bake christmas sweets at aunty penny's house. We had a soup + cheese + crackers + tea lunch and chatted the afternoon away, then baked up a storm in the kitchen.

Things we made:
-Cinnamon Squares with caramel icing
-Shortbread with marachino cherries
-Fudge
-Spicy Hermit Cookies
-Normal shortbread
-Prawn stew for dinner

Things we learned:
-Don't burn things
-Follow cake-pan measurement instructions
-Cut marchino cherries in half before putting them on cookies
-Take the tails off of prawns before putting them in the stew
-Don't stew the prawns until the very end, or they get rubbery
-We are excellent cleaner-uppers

I am going to try getting up early and actually doing something with my early day tomorrow morning, but right now, I think I'm going to go back to my room and get some sleep.

I have had zero customers thus far.

Flashbacks last night, not so fun.
I hadn't had them for a good few months though, so I guess thats good.

EDIT: Remembered why I've been having flashbacks-- I was being abused this time last year real bad and than.. shit today has been a very bad day for nostalgia. I think it was around this time last year that I ended up homeless for a few nights sleeping under stairwells HAHA it was pathetic-- I was thinking about that tonight, and started weirding out. I need to focus on staying in the moment. I am Sarah Sussman, it is December 2K9, not 2K8... I'm making progress, and I'm safe. I'm living such a different life now and I need to focus on just that (the NOW)! I smoked today to curb my anxiety (FAIL!) Quitting smoking starts again tomorrow! On a more positive note, I'm doing really really good with the food-- I've been drinking cream soda, and I had pasta for dinner tonight, and PB+Nutella for lunch!!! Yeah! Score! I rock! I know! :)

11 hours of sleep. I had messed up dreams!

Brent- Let's do something on Saturday!!! =]
Today I am doing better-- I have quit smoking again, and have not purged since Friday! So I've gotta be doing something right!! Sydney called me on Sunday and we've been talking a lot-- I'm going to collage tonight, I've been putting it off. Aside from that, I have to go see grace today-- she is my dietician that tried to make me eat chocolate cake the day I found out i had an STI-- much disliking towards her!!!! Anyways, wish me luck with NO-grace!!!!

( The 4-month Gap )
I feel old. I was remembering the time that me and Gabi fell asleep on the train. That was two summers ago. Holy shit...

**FINAL EDIT Thu Dec 10 02:15:47 UTC 2009**

So there is the final update... Over the past day we have processed around 11 million jobs out of the 12 million that were in queue at that time. Please bear in mind that over this past day, more jobs for notifications are also created. So while the queue has been dropping, we are still not fully caught up at this point, due to backlog and new jobs. We have roughly 3 million jobs still pending that involve the notification system in some manner. We had hoped we could have fully cleared the queue in a day, but unfortunately we can't clear it too quickly, since we need the rest of the site to operate normally. From our current perspective on the amount of jobs that are left in queue, and how many it has processed thus far, we believe it will take around another 8 - 12 hours to process everything.

And finally some answers to some questions:

( Read More and Get Some Answers... )

My hand fell asleep, and it hurts to type.